Archive by Author | Bruce "Snow Ghost" Russell

Dance at the Masquerade Ball

by Bruce “Snow Ghost” Russell

I’m done with all your interference and lies. There’s no place to run. You know who wrote that letter. You know what I must do.

Backstage during the show, the chandeliers begin to shake.

I’ve been bled dry. Open up a vein and you’ll see poverty. I’m tired of this blackmail. We need to get rid of her.

This old and rotten theater has seen better days. Sounds of laughter still haunt its walls.

All the hatred built up over the years still resonates inside the theater.

Guests begin to disappear.

He rages behind the stage at the masquerade ball. The phantom of the rock opera rises up with a blood-curdling scream. From now on he will be the prowler behind the stage.

From the January 2013 issue of Happiness Pony. [PDF]

“The Ghost & Mr. Chicken”: A Singular Study in Horror

Jun3

Why is “The Ghost & Mr. Chicken” the most terrifying movie ever made? Why have I seen it more than 1,000 times? It begins with a house.

It’s a haunted house, of course, creepy, surrounded by legend, on the dark side of the street. It reminds me of a house I lived in. You can hear the organ play inside.

They want Don Knotts to spend a night in the house and write about it in the newspaper. It’s what he expects—unforgettable and terrifying. He goes upstairs to look at the organ and it begins to play. He has a look on his face. He runs downstairs and sees the garden shears stuck in a painting of Mrs. Simmons and the painting starts to bleed and he runs into the ofﬁce and Dick Sargent says, “Tell us, Luther, tell us.” “It’s just horrible.” And that’s the opening line.

This ﬁlm stands out among comedy horror. Quite a few people will like it, I would think. Make sure you’re ready for it.

From the June 2011 issue of Happiness Pony. [PDF]

Salt for the Unsalted

May6

Hey Bruce: What do you think of Worcester’s Mechanic’s Hall?

The problem with Mechanic’s Hall is, I never found a good mechanic there. Just a bunch of maniacs!

How do you survive life in Worcester?

Try to think positive. Don’t let people get under your skin, knock you down, or deﬁne you. The other possible solution is like climbing to the top of a Silver Mountain. Once you’re in the middle, it’s a long way to the top. Do you want to stop there or keep going?

From the May 2011 issue of Happiness Pony. [PDF]

Salt for the Unsalted

Apr4

uncommon wisdom from Bruce “Snow Ghost” Russell

Hey Bruce: What was Nicola Tesla’s greatest invention?

My evil laugh.

Hey Bruce: Any thoughts on Vincent Price?

Vincent Price . . . how much did it cost to invent gin? Probably no more than it cost to invent his name.

Excuse me sir: Would you like ice in your water?

Only if it’s i.c.-d.c.!

Bruce: I’m giving up movies for Lent. What should I watch on Easter?

I have a couple movies for you on Easter. You could watch “The Ten Commandments.” Or you could watch a nor’easter!

Hey Bruce: I borrowed a friend’s truck & hit another truck. I don’t have enough money to pay for the body work on the other truck. What should I do?

Go to a body shop & explain the situation. See what they can do. If it still costs too much, how about some body language!

Hey Bruce: What do you call a funny song by Ray Kurzweil?

A sing-hilarity!

From the April 2011 issue of Happiness Pony. [PDF]