Youth Un!ted Against Tree-Licking

As a Youth, it is with great regret that I deplore the lack of gathering places for young people in Worcester. As we ride from place to place, many of my fellow Youth may be driven down dark paths. I beseech my peers not to turn to licking the trees of our fair City. With the encroach of the Asian Longhorn Beetle, and the spraying of nicotine-based imidacloprid pesticide on our vulnerable trees, combined with the forthcoming ban on the sale of cigarettes in pharmacies, which will completely prevent youth from accessing nicotine, it is a great temptation to run into the nearest forest and lick trees until your tongue turns to bark—but you can just say NO! Despite society’s hatred for our boisterous conduct, deviant behavior, and general flippancy, we Youth must never succumb to weakness, but strive onwards, creating positive places for emotional and psychic growth, making our presence felt, and raising our voices, refusing to accept the prevalent stereotype of “tree-licking delinquents.” There can be a better tomorrow, and I’ll need you all there, with me.

From the May 2011 issue of Happiness Pony. [PDF]

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